Deployment sucks when you are single and are past that age where you want your parents taking care of your life and crap. Honestly. You have no idea until you go through it, which is what I’ve spent the last 6-7 months of my life doing and probably have a few more months of recovery left. It’s similar to moving and taking a 6 month vacation on a remote island all at the same time. Imagining that may seem nice – relaxing and exciting all at the same time. I assure you though, there are many trials and tribulations most do not think of. I now have a huge appreciation for those in the military that do this alone. Here’s why:
Bills:: There are countless items that need to be checked off a list before you go such as ensuring anything that may need to be paid while you are gone is covered either in the form of prepayment or automatic deductions. This includes things you may not really think of all the time, such as renewing the registration on your car, or the web hosting you completely forget about. This also includes making sure that companies are aware of your absence and, in the case of utilities (if you’re keeping a place in the states while you are gone), that there is another person on the account that can put in support requests and other items as needed. Remember to also either cancel your cell phone or put it on hold.
Housing:: While you are gone, there will probably be maintenance and upkeep to your residence, even if it’s leased. Someone you trust should be asked to check on your house periodically. They should flush the toilets occasionally and check to ensure your house is at a reasonable temperature (too hot is not as bad as too cold.. especially if you live in the eastern or northern part of the states to make sure your pipes do not freeze). Your HOA or leasing office should be aware that you will be gone to ensure that your house is monitored and to know who has permission to enter and put in work requests. If you have a lawn or other items needing maintenance, this also should be covered in advance. Other items that will help save while you are gone include unplugging everything you can (especially fridge and major appliances) and turning off your water heater. You don’t need these while you are gone.
Mail:: Mail sucks ass, which I didn’t truly realize until a few days ago. Deployments are usually too long to have your mail held, and therefore you need to have it rerouted somewhere. Not really wanting anyone to have my mail, I decided to have mine sent to me while I was gone. This worked fine for two of the four months I was in Afghanistan. Then the post office randomly decided that all mail that was supposed to be forwarded, would instead be returned to the sender for an invalid address. I actually had a bad address fee charged by my bank account for them getting several returned statements. Note to self: even if you have paperless statements set up, mail still comes to you. Lord only knows how many people got returned mail and how many companies now have my address on alert. I know for a fact the benefits section of my employer had an alert on my account that they had a bad address for me. Oy.
Medical:: Preparation takes up a lot of time. I guess this happens despite being single or not, but it’s still hard. Lots of physicals, blood work, tests, and certifications to take. For those that are close to me, you know this well filled up the three weeks prior to my departure… almost every. single. day. I still have my damn smallpox scar.
Legal Matters:: Who is responsible for your estate if anything happens to you? Who’s responsible for you and decisions that need to be made if you can’t? I don’t care how old you are, if you are leaving for an extended period of time, especially on deployment to a war zone, you should probably have some legal documents drafted. This is something I never would’ve thought of if I hadn’t been deploying.
Post-Deployment Re-Situating:: This is the worst!!!! The picture at the top of this post shows how my room’s pretty much looked ever since I have arrived home. It took me weeks to catch up on laundry (including putting it away). I am still working on cleaning my house and figuring out what I’m keeping and storing and getting rid of as far as items I had before I left as well as things I had shipped back from while I was there. It’s really like moving all over again. I had to restock my fridge. I had to cancel any automatic payments on utilities and bills I didn’t want and let people know I had returned home. I had to find things I “hid” while I was gone such as my mailbox key. Additionally, in the chaos of cleaning my place, I happened to lose my gym key as of yesterday. I have tons of emails I haven’t caught up on because of all the chaos surrounding my life right now. There are social/professional outside of work activities I feel terrible about not having time for yet. Taxes I still have to do… countless items I need to catch up on yet still want to have somewhat of a social life with my friends as well as have my me time and exercise time. I think it will easily take me another three months to get fully back into the swing of things.
So, in the end, it’s pretty brutal if you are doing this by yourself. There are many companies that give benefits to spouses of employees for various things. I am starting to think the military and military contracting companies need to give benefits for single people that deploy in the form of additional paid vacation time so they have substantial time to catch back up on their lives. I love my alone time, and I definitely have those nights I want to stay in, but sometimes it’s really hard to explain to your friends that haven’t been through it, why it’s taking so long to get caught back up again.
