In Novmeber, I posted an entry about everyone here assuming I’m married. So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me now that I am getting an influx of people asking me why I’m single. Sometimes it’s in an accusatory way and sometimes just an extremely surprising way.

I get the feeling some think it’s embarrassing to be in your 20s and be single. I don’t necessarily agree. Being married isn’t the only meaningful accomplishment in someone’s life. I also am very dead set against divorce. I’ll make damn sure whomever I am involved with is someone I can see myself being with past a few months. It did make me start to think about why I am single though, and I have come up with a few ideas.

1) Moving:This is a recent reason. In the past two years I have lived in four states. What can I say, part of it is circumstance and part of it is getting bored with where I currently was. I was in a serious relationship before my move to Arizona. However, I didn’t think we were at the point that I was comfortable with him moving 2000 miles with me. However, I think that I am now somewhere that I can see myself staying for awhile. Hopefully this will no longer be an issue.

2) Career: I have been very career focused since undergrad, but even more so since graduate school. I have always planned on having a career, and a career I enjoy. The slight downfall is that HCD is still a little hard to find jobs in, and so I am limited a little bit to most major cities. Not sure I could ever be a happy housewife the rest of my life. I love my career and I love the challenges and success I have at work every day.

3) Children: The past two times I have been in a serious relationship, the other half always got upset when it came time for the “how many children do you want to have” talk. Oddly enough they are the ones that want all these kids. As for me, it’s not the number of children, but the fact that I don’t want to have children. I have had my mind set on adopting ever since I started thinking about children. I never really thought that would be an issue with guys, but apparently it is.

4) Independent: I’m a very independent person and while I love being with my friends and family, I also enjoy (and need) my own time. I have to have my space and I am very comfortable with who I am as an individual and will not let that go. Sometimes I will want to do my own thing. Sometimes I will want a girls night, and there may be times I just want to hang with my guy friends. I need a guy secure enough to handle that.

5) Type Mismatch: Other than that, I think it comes down to just not finding the right type of guy at the right time. Does this mean I’m picky? It’s quite possible, but I also think I have that right. Maybe I expect more than the typical date too. I appreciate people that put effort into relationships, this holds true for my friends as well. Sometimes I think guys only want girly girls and while I absolutely love dressing up, adore the color pink and anything that sparkles, I am not a ditz and I also love football, beer, going to sporting events and kicking everyone’s ass in Mortal Kombat.

So there, I’m single and I don’t really mind. All you other single professional women out there should feel the same. Don’t tell me about my biological clock and all that psycho nonsense. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for, a great career, and a rockstar social life. I’m perfectly happy with that too. When a guy comes along that can deal with that, then we’ll talk.

Peace Out!

I have never been a big fan of New Years Resolutions. Most people fail to make active goals they can realistically achieve and therefore have pointless resolutions. What is it about the beginning of the year that makes people want to change? Shouldn’t the cause of change be an event in your life and not just that it’s now 2009 rather than 2008? Maybe this is why most resolutions are unfulfilled. To me it’s similar to overcoming an addiction. You have to truly want something to be able to change.

This year I truly did have two experiences over the past few days that did prompt me to make a New Years resolution of some sort. One was a date gone wrong that ended up being a good thing and the other is a personal conflict.

What I want to aspire to be is a better role model for myself, for my younger siblings, for my friends, and anyone else that feels I am a role model. This involves many different aspects of my life.

First and foremost, I want to be a role model to young professional women everywhere. I want to show that women can achieve things professionally. I want to prove goals can be accomplished and you can reach your dreams. Sometimes it takes a lot of work, and it may seem that at every turn is a dead end, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. And yes, it can be hard. When I graduated from undergrad I had two bachelors degrees and was sure that I could accomplish anything. I was living in a metropolitan area with the man I was dating at the time and everything seemed to be perfect. Then reality set in. It was impossible to find a job and even though I had great grades and great skills it wasn’t enough. No one was paying nearly what I thought I deserved. I landed a full time job a year or so after I graduated which made me feel like a failure, and it still wasn’t a job I wanted and was below my qualifications. I was then motivated to attend grad school. I was so motivated and excited about this new opportunity, but in the back of my head, wondering if I’d really be able to make anything out of it. I was at Kent State University in the Information Architecture and Knowledge Management (IAKM) program, which was relatively new at the time. I fell in love with the program but afterwards still struggled to find a job in the field. At the same time my boyfriend accepted a position in North Carolina and moved. I ended up accepting a position not in my field in Virginia to be closer. This was my flaw. I ended up losing my job after only a few months. I then had to pay an insane amount to break my new lease. I started looking in North Carolina and started moving in with my boyfriend. He then decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore and didn’t want to marry me, so there was no point in being together anymore. Then I had nowhere to go and no job. Great right? I ended up getting back on my feet and landing a position in my field within the automotive industry after a move to the Detroit area. A year later, I accepted a position with a company in Scottsdale, AZ and thus my recent move to AZ a couple months ago. It’s been hard. I’m not going to life. I’ve had my shitty points, but I don’t regret a single decision I’ve made and am so fortunate to have this wonderful opportunity in front of me.

It is within anyone’s reach to accomplish their goals and dreams. One important thing to note though is not to let roadblocks stand in your way. Sometimes that road block can be a bad relationship. That leads me to the next part of my resolution.

I decided a little while ago I’d try to get back into the dating game, and in hindsight this was a mistake, but not in the way you’d think. It wasn’t the dating that was mistake, but falling into the trap of the dating game. I’m simply tired of the stupid games and the ridiculous men I run into when I date. I’ve decided to do the same thing another friend has done. I am either going to date a guy that truly wants to be with me or be single. It’ll be hard. I’ve been constantly dating for about an entire decade now. However, a particularly interesting event that happened on my most recent outing a few days ago has made me even more focused on me. I had what most would consider a terrible date, one that would be too embarrassing to talk about. It’s a girls worst nightmare right? Incorrect. The more I thought about it the more I realized that it was just one of those unfortunate situations that sometimes happens. Some people can look past things and some can’t. I’m looking for a person who can. First impressions are really important but I’m one of those people that likes to give someone two impressions, because often first ones end up carrying too much weight. So no more guys that play games and no more guys that can’t see beyond an unfortunate incident. I have a lot to offer. I love to do just about anything and will try most things once. I am an individual. I’m smart and well rounded. I love football season like a guy and have an unusually rare love of beer unlike most women. I’m slightly pretentious and egotistical but not enough to be a mega bitch. I don’t sugar coat things. I’m a great dancer and love to sing which means a great night out! I’m quirky and funny and love to smile a lot.

Ultimately, I am going to be a role model to smart amazing single women everywhere. While dating is amazing and by no means should not stop dating, you should also not let a man impact your career or your independence and individuality. Don’t sell yourself short. You ARE worth it!

Hurray to 2009!