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I can’t believe it. Race weekend is finally here. This time tomorrow I’ll be departing from downtown Phoenix, running through the gorgeous Papago Park, running over the amazing Mill Ave bridge and arrive to the finish line at the gates below:
It’s hard to believe that this is all coming to light. I’ve had four months of practice with my running group with Team In Training, I’ve actually tried to run in good form, and I’ve reversed my typical exercise agenda, running more than I’ve been hitting the heavy bags.
The past couple weeks have been especially important. First and foremost I’ve been able to not only meet, but to exceed my fundraising goal to help LLS find a cure for leukemia and lymphoma. I’m so honored and blessed to have such wonderful friends and family that are not only there supporting me as I achieve a personal goal, but are helping with an even more important goal that can impact everyone. I joined TNT in memory of two important people in my life that lost their fight with cancer. It’s the strength and courage they showed throughout their entire lives, even when they weren’t dealt the best hand, that is helping me through this.
It’s also amazing to see me complete this goal for myself. I’m not a runner. You all know this. I can’t guarantee I’ll be running fast this weekend, but I’ll be running fast for me and most importantly, I’ll be finishing. And I’ll be having a blast. This past weekend we ran the final few miles of the course for practice and even without the cheering and the bands, I was so inspired, I actually ran kinda fast, and well danced as I ran through the finish line. Just imagine what it will be like with a crowd of people. Inspiring!
I’ve been doing a lot fo get ready for race day tomorrow. Last night I got an amazing 12 hours of sleep. I have my race outfit out and am getting everything ready. My goo gummies and gatorade and powerbars are ready to go. I am going through my playlist and anylizing the beats per minute of songs to make a race day playlist as I type.
I want to invite you all to follow me on race day. If you’re in the area, please come cheer me on. I won’t be the speediest on the course, so you can probably see me at multiple spots. The half starts at 8:30 and my corral (26) will probably be around 9 or so, so you don’t even have to get up that early. You can see a map of the course at the link below. Please cheer me on.
http://arizona.competitor.com/event-info/course/
If you’re not in the area, you can track my progress through competitor wireless:
https://www.competitorwireless.com/
Additionally, there should be a race day web cam:
http://running.competitor.com/2011/01/races/p-f-changs-rock-n-roll-arizona-coverage_20063
http://arizona.competitor.com/
Thanks again everyone! Without you this would not be possible, nor would it be as fun.
Hurray! I am very pleased to announce that as of July 29, 2010 I have finished all the items on my 30 before 30 list. It’s hard to believe I finished it nearly a month early considering I was out of the country for awhile. I’m so thrilled to have had an opportunity to challenge myself and do some fun things in the mean time too. My last 3 consisted of cooking something fancy, getting back on the piano again, and submitting to a conference.
Finished !!
As much as this was my own list, it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of several awesome people that I wanted to take time and mention now.
There’s a lot of power in the title of this that is relatively accurate. In the months since I’ve returned from my trip overseas, I’ve began to realize that I’ve become pretty lazy. I’m not constantly worried about keeping my house clean, I let my email stack up for weeks at a time without answering it, I don’t feel inclined to work on a side project or cross items off my to-do list if I’d rather watch a movie or go for a bike ride. To most, this may seem normal. To me, it’s almost a complete 180.
Prior to departure, especially the immediate two months beforehand, I was the goddess of chaos. I always had a million things going on; always had to do lists everywhere that I felt obligated to cross off before I would let myself even take a few hours of sleep that night. I would obsess over the smallest things and want to make sure everything was in order at every minute of every day.
I’m not sure how much anyone else really noticed, but I noticed. I was anal about getting my car in or vacuuming to the point that I would cancel plans when those small tasks could’ve easily waited. I don’t recall if it drove me crazy though. I remember sometimes being stressed out, but I don’t ever remember feeling like I was too overwhelmed or out of control.
Since I’ve been back, I’ve had a much different outlook on life. I’ve learned to let go of things and truly appreciate the things that mean the most in life. The ones that don’t, can be put off. However, this has meant having a lot more me time and not catching up on some things that are important. I forgot to pay a bill on time once, and I still have a trunk from Afghanistan at the foot of my bed that has not been unpacked. I don’t remember the last time I washed my car and I have calls I need to make that I just haven’t made time for.
It’s interesting though. You’d think I’d be carefree; feel happier and less chaotic. However, I feel more out of control of my life because I can’t seem to get on even ground again, no matter how much I try. While I love it, I need to find a nice balance between before and after to make my life less stressful.
It’s also amazing what happens when you open your eyes to situations that truly matter in life and not just ones that matter to you or your circle of friends and family. Life and death situations, the safety of our country and other factors make everything else seem minute and pointless, even paying bills and keeping my house in top shape. Going through an experience like this is something that will change your life forever. While I’m not suggesting everyone sign up to head to Afghanistan, I think similar experiences can come from volunteering for projects that truly impact life. Just be cautious that you still have responsibilities on your plate. That will be what I’m working on the rest of the summer.
Enjoying a Me Date at the Boyce Thompson Arboretum
It’s honestly sad for me to see so many people who seem like they do not own their own life, even after technically being on their own for years, or even decades.
Many of those same people, if I confronted them on it, would tell me that they do in fact own their own lives. That would more than likely be followed with examples of why this is true. They would list off activities such as having their own car, getting their own lease on a place to live, finding a job and having their own source of income and possibly even listing hobbies they have such as wine tasting, being a foodie, or going to the gym.
I’m not entirely convinced these activities and typical qualifications for being a stable adult have much to do with owning your life.
I think it’s even more true nowdays than earlier that everyone lives to impress. While it may not seem like much, or while it even may seem normal, I think it can degrade the quality of life you lead. It may sneak up on you too, and while it seems you are leading your own life, it can gradually become clear this is not the case.
For the past two years, I have spent a lot of time doing what most would call soul searching. Could be chalked up to hitting that almost 30 point and being not quite a kid, but not feeling like an adult. In my opinion it is kinda like being an adolescent all over again, which we all know wasn’t an emotional high. I started slowly, first working towards the job I wanted, and finally landing the perfect job that I was truly happy with, for me, and not for others. I started becoming involved in activities and being comfortable being single. They were big steps for me.
Still, I was kinda living my life for others in some ways. I was still slightly worried about what people thought of me. I felt like I was obligated to go out several nights a week to social events in order to be validated as a member of society. Sometimes I would honestly feel like I was a walking example of Stuff White People Like because I had to be. Additionally, there would be things I wouldn’t do that, while they seemed like they were for me, they weren’t; they were just a way of rebelling against society, which is still living for others rather than yourself. I would rebel by going to the gym and eating what I wanted. I would rebel by not dressing up because I wanted to prove a point.
At the time, I didn’t realize this though. In my head these were all things I was doing because I wanted to. Things that were making me live for me.
Lately that’s changed. I don’t feel I need to be friends with everyone and I definitely don’t want to be a contestant in anyone’s popularity contest. If you don’t want to talk to me, I’m perfectly okay with that. If you do, it better be genuine, or I won’t tolerate it for long. I’ve learned that I don’t need to do everything and no matter how much it’s desired by others, I owe myself nights in, even if it’s 1opm on a Friday. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is while everyone may seem your friend, they may not be your friend. Oddly enough, it may surprise you which people in your life are your true friends and genuinely care for you as a person and want to be around you, through good and bad, and not just to gain attention for being a good samaritan.
I still think I may be a walking example of Stuff White People Like, but it’s not because of a need to fit in. It’s because of a genuine change in me and my beliefs. I bought my bike because I truly wanted a different way to get around other than my car, and not because it was a fad. I haven’t had TV for a year due to it not really being of much value to me. I’m not exercising more and eating better because I want to be a skinny bitch or think I’ll have more friends. In fact, I think I may lose some, but I will be a healthier and better person in the end.
Don’t feel you need to have a million friends on facebook that aren’t your friends. Resist the temptation to have to accept every RSVP or respond to all the popular tweets. Spend some time away from social media and don’t be afraid to take a trip by yourself because you want to go, even if no one else does.
Own your life. Do things because you genuinely want to. It’s harder than it looks trust me, because it’s so easy to validate what you are doing. Once you truly own your life though, all those superficial feelings and activities will just go away. It’s not selfish to live for yourself; it’s courageous.
Heh. It’s been awhile hasn’t it. Combination of lack of wireless on top of being very busy has kept me away the past few weeks.
It’s been a great experience being here. I feel so fortunate to not only have the opportunity to have this experience but be able to learn from so many experiences I couldn’t even have imagined having.
This post isn’t about that though. It’s about the realization that in the past year or so I have truly found myself some amazing friends. Sometimes you don’t realize how luck you are immediately. I’ve always known that I have some truly special people in my life but lately it’s really shown through.
Even with technology it’s hard to keep up with friends. I know this because I’ve been there and I’ve been guilty of doing it. Your life just gets busy and if you aren’t reminded you don’t often think to call someone or send them a message.
My friends are awesome though. Especially the past few days. I can’t tell you how much it means to get little emails that someone’s thinking of me, an @ reply on twitter, or a message on facebook asking me how I’m doing; letting me know someone’s anxious for me to come home (and meaning it).
It’s not only my friends back stateside either. Friends that I have made while I’m here have been the same way, and it’s very genuine. It’s the small things that keep me going here… and also make me want to come home. They are what make me bust out laughing for 20 minutes at a time (like I did most of today) and what make me shed bittersweet tears for what I am missing back home. They are what make me realize there are people in my life I should’ve had more contact with while I was back home.. and that I shouldn’t be shy in my love life anymore.. there may be someone I need to ask out when I arrive back safe and sound.
I want to let you know that I truly love and appreciate all of you. Those who have worried about me when I haven’t been around for a few days at a time. Those who have sent me little cards and care packages… you don’t know how much a letter means when you’re here. Those who have even called me or IM’ed me to check on me. Those who help motivate me to do all I can while I’m here and try to make a difference for myself and others. Those who are okay with me being myself. Those that help give me a sense of normalcy over here. Those who are there when I need someone to vent with…. and those who know that sometimes I need to cry.. and are okay with that.
You know who you are. If you are back in the states, I cannot wait to see you once more. If we met while I’m deployed, I hope we have the chance to keep in touch and meet once again when we are all home safe and sound with our families and friends.
I’m a pretty tough cookie. I’ll be the first to admit it. I’ve been called a plethora of different adjectives from tough, to stubborn, to persistent, to selfish. I take all of them as compliments. In some way, being a tough cookie embraces all of these, but not necessarily in a negative light.
As with most personality traits, this particular one came from life experiences. I’m sure there are many things over the course of my childhood and even into my adulthood that molded me into the tough one I am today, but, in my opinion, I can pinpoint it to one yearly event as a child that really taught me am lot about life in the long run.
Girl Scout cookie selling time.
I’ve always been a little competitive by nature, but even I could lose my competitive edge during Girl Scout cookie selling season. In Ohio, this season was winter. The dead of winter. The area I grew up in didn’t have the lake weather a lot of Ohio has, but it still had its bitter cold in the place of snow. Winter in the evenings, after the sun went down, made you want to sit in front of a fire and have some hot chocolate. Not stand outside for two hours knocking on doors, hands frozen from having to keep them out somewhat.
My dad has this great philosophy of earning what you get. Having that feeling that you truly made it work and that it happened because you put your heart and soul into it. I was taught this lesson more so during cookie time than any other time of the year.
Everyone else would either do one of two things – ignore the snow by either refusing to sell cookies and just having their parents and relatives take forms into work and sell them in the office. This was the easy way of selling enough cookies to pay for Girl Scout camp the next summer.
My dad never let me get off that easy. He would take the form into work and help me, but not unless I was willing to help myself. At the beginning of the season, we would look at how many were needed to pay for camp, and also what my goal was going to be. Before I ever stepped out of the house to knock on one door, I knew exactly what I needed to accomplish and we would lay out plans as to how that would happen. How many doors I needed to knock on. How long every night I had to spend out attempting to sell these delicious cookies, which usually meant sacrificing my TV watching hours as those were spent doing homework.
After dinner most nights of the week, and after lunch on weekends, I would bundle up in my winter coat, my one or two pairs of gloves, my hat, and scarf, armed with my pens and cookie forms. If it was snowing or raining, I would use the smaller forms that were easily inserted in a plastic ziploc bag to keep them from getting wet. My dad would map out the route we were to hit. Sometimes it was a new area we’d never tried ever before, sometimes it was one we hadn’t hit yet that year, and sometimes it was going back to an old spot where we happened to have ea bad night and wanted another go.
The process then went as follows. I would be dropped off at the beginning of a block. My dad would then drive a couple blocks down (still within eyesight) and park. My goal? To hit ever house on that side of the street between me and my dad. There was no skipping a house or whining. The only excuse for skipping was a no solicitors sign, and even that had to be explained. Some nights were a fail. But those days where a really big streak was hit, were adrenaline pumpers and even at that age, they gave me the motivation I needed to move on. Every little goal was a victory. Every time someone said no it was a challenge to work harder.
In the end, my parents would reward me with ordering enough cookies to almost last an entire year (which is a lot). I would also get rewarded typically with the most sales of anyone in my troop and leading the sales for the area. I went to camp every year having paid nothing. And every winter, my parents dining room became a cookie distribution warehouse, filled practically wall to The wall with approximately 500+ boxes of cookies. That was when the delivery process would begin, which was a little less stressful, but just as tedious and time consuming.
I was never taught shady selling tactics or how to cheat. Rather, I was taught persistence, planning, and strategy. Above all, I was taught that taking things in stride, even when they seem painful and the path not taken, can really pay off in the end, not just monetarily, but with personal satisfaction.
I don’t think I’ve ever thanked my parents for this, so I guess there’s nothing like a public thank you. Thank you mom and dad, for always pushing me, never letting me settle for anything but excellence. Thank you mom specifically for putting up with nights of handling the end of the day tasks by yourself. Thank you dad for giving up countless amounts of your time to spend with me. I’m sure sitting in a car for 2 hours every night isn’t the highlight of your day. I’m not sure if you knew all along how this would help me in the long run, but it has.
If anyone has appreciated my toughness, please send my parents a thank you. The credit belongs to them.
Also, the picture in this post is from David & Goliath. Apparently there are pajamas and tshirts… I need some.
So I have two side projects while I’m here. These are things that will help me pass the time (well, when I have time to spare) and also help me out in the long run.
One of them is learning a new language, to which I’ve slowly (and yes, I admit I’ve been procrastinating a bit) been learning Dari/Farsi. I have a phrase book I’ve started to read and in learning and picking up things here I’ve been able to to learn the basic phrase, “My name is Tonia.” Learning a new language is not in my 30 before 30, but I figure hey, if I replace one because there was something I couldn’t do here, it’s still a good skill to have in my basket and a great thing to add to my list.
The next one is part of my 30 before 30 in regards to getting in as good of shape as I was in college. I’ve started this crusade since I’ve been here slowly, and today decided to name it Operation Sexy Bitch (#SexyBitchOps).
This has included going to the gym at least 5 days a week for 45 minutes of exercise every time, doing the ab workout with my tent-mates 3 days a week, and trying to watch what I eat as much as I can here, although there isn’t much to cut back on and there aren’t many choices.
As of a couple weeks ago, I cut back almost completely on anything other than water. Occasionally I’ll add crystal light to it and one day last week I craved a strawberry fanta. I also have ice cream on a rare occasion. However, for the most part, I am trying to eat better as well as possible.
I’ve felt a little defeated up until this past week and actually felt like I was gaining weight. However, the past week or so it’s been noticed by others that are around me a lot that I’m looking pretty good and that my figure is showing more. I haven’t weighed myself yet, but I’m pretty happy with the new found energy I have again and that people are noticing.
The big highlight was being able to run a mile out of the two I did on the treadmill today. I couldn’t tell you the last time I was able to do that. It felt so nice and after I was done and cooled off I had an insane amount of energy again, as if I could do it twice.
Hopefully things will continue as well as they are doing now and maybe in a few weeks or so I’ll have a picture with an update when I take one I like. Who knows, maybe @TheWinterHat will be in it too
Anyone else that wants to take part in #SexyBitchOps, let me know. This is a team effort!
I will be taking a leave of absence from my blog while I am away on business. I love you all and hopefully you will not be bored without.
Something epic happened yesterday that really made me think. It was that same time last year that I hopped off a plane at Sky Harbor with three suitcases and a new home as I made my way to my development to sign on my home, and officially start my new life in the valley. It was exactly one year from my arrival in Phoenix that I was running around ensuring the conference went as planned for Phoenix Design Week. What better way to celebrate my PhoenixVersary than my involvement with an epic first for Phoenix.
It was one year ago today that I wrote my first post on Grace.Balance.Courage and this blog has been telling the tales of my adventures here ever since.
I had a good feeling when I moved here. I needed to get away from all the negativity and drama that kept appearing in other places I had lived. I needed to start over. Only I didn’t know that when I moved here. My initial purpose for transplanting myself in Phoenix was due to accepting a position here. The automotive industry wasn’t stable enough for me to be comfortable and I happened to get an amazing vibe from my interview at the Foundry. I knew two people here when I landed on October 24th, 2008.
Soon I began to realize how much I needed Phoenix. The creativity and collaborative nature here is overwhelming. I love the small think tanks, the ideas that are born out of them, and how no one is afraid to ask for help, or to start something new and unconventional. Even more amazing is how others aren’t afraid to try something new and unconventional, even when the instigator is someone they have never met, a lowly gal who wanted to root herself in the area, and hoped others would join her wacky initiatives.
I am amazed that I have only been here a year after looking at all I’ve done since I’ve been here and at the same time it also feels like I’ve just began my journey here.
I want to thank the valley for adopting me and allowing me to take an active part in the community. Thank you for helping me in more ways than you could imagine. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, a geek with a love for hot pink and football. I have never felt so sure of anywhere I’ve lived, and nowhere has felt like home more than the valley does.
Phoenix has given me balance in my life, the courage to do things I never thought I’d attempt, and allowed me to do it all with grace.
Almost a year ago I started a new journey in my life and made the decision to accept a new position and move to Phoenix. It’s been such a tremendous experience and the friends I have made here and the activities I have become involved in are more than I ever could’ve asked for. Similarly, accepting the position I did, has ended up being the perfect fit. I am so happy with the activities I get to do on a daily basis and the lives I get to help.
A year has gone past since my last journey, and in a few weeks from now I will be starting another new and exciting chapter in my life. I will be traveling abroad for work and spending a few months in Afghanistan. Since I will be doing quite a bit of work and my social time to email, blog, and update people on the mundane aspects of my life in tweets could be few and far between, I figured some of you may notice my absence.
And yes, I’m completely excited for it. What I’m most nervous about is making sure I have everything under wraps before I depart. I’m getting there, but that’s why you may have noticed my calendar filling up lately. My days are completely booked with making sure all my extra curricular activities are well taken care of and that I am packing what I need to. I apologize in advance that I may not get a chance to see everyone or talk to everyone before I go. I know that a mass message is a little unpersonal, but trust me when I say that I only did this for my sanity. I just don’t have the time to call every single person I know and would’ve felt bad forgetting someone, so I kept to people that had an absolute need to know.
I am sure many of you have a million questions popping through your head. Hell, I still have a million things popping through my head. With that being said though, there isn’t much more to tell and I would really appreciate refrain from jumping to conclusions and spreading assumptions via any method (phone, web, email, etc). If you have any questions and/or witty comments, please feel free to come to me directly and I will answer what I can.
I love you all! Please pray for my safe journey there and back and that I am able to accomplish everything I want while there. Thank you all for your support! If it wasn’t for my friends and family, I am not sure I would have the strength or courage to go through this.
