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August is usually a busy month for me, being it’s my birthday. This past August was really busy with other events I had organized or that I had promised to attend, vacation, as well as preparing for other work related stuff that is approaching. The last week in August was the week after my birthday and I pledged to only go out a couple hours on Friday and spend the rest of the weekend in a desperate attempt to get caught up as much as I could on blog posts, bills, house chores, errands, and sleep. I ended up getting everything accomplished but sleep.
I then went into this past week knowing I had mornings filled with meetings and other appointments and afternoons filled with training til 5, which would then make my nights hectic trying to go to the gym, get work done afterward, and be in bed before midnight. It only made me look forward to the upcoming three day weekend in which I would only relax. Pajamas, the gym, movies, sleep. Lots of sleep. Everything I predicted was correct. The week was slammed, I worked on maybe 12 hours of sleep total for the week and was ready for the weekend. Until I learned that I had an insanely busy week at work the week after too. This weekend has now been the same as last. Cramming to get stuff done.. bills paid, work done, house cleaning, and luckily I’ve been able to get *some* sleep.
Some might call me a workaholic. Trust me though. It’s not all work work. In fact most of the stuff in the evenings was non-work related. Projects I’ve started on my own or volunteered to help on, and making sure I got my ass to the gym every day. It can get exhausting at times, but in a way I am really starting to grow used to the beautifully chaotic lifestyle that I am going to be having over the next 8 months.
I think in some ways it makes me feel wanted and it keeps me from sitting in my house all day certainly. Additionally, everything I’ve been filling my days to the brim with lately has had a purpose and a reason. They’ve been projects and other things I am passionate about. And because they are all items I am excited about, it hardly seems like work at all. I do notice the lack of sleep but I always manage to squeeze enough in to be Miss Happy Sunshine by the time I arrive at work the next morning.
Chaos is an interesting thing. Sometimes it can destroy your life. Sometimes it can overcome you. Sometimes it can feel unbalanced. At the same time though, chaos can be very balanced. On some occasions, it may make life’s outcomes a little more uncertain, but then it always feels like a miracle, and you feel courageous, when everything turns out well in the end.
The tortoise was slow. The hare was fast. The tortoise came in first. The hare came last.
Our first weigh in for #fatoff was yesterday evening. I knew it wouldn’t be pretty going into it. That only made me more focused to come out ahead in the end though. I admit they aren’t good excuses, but having my birthday and vacation lined up right at the beginning did not give me a great head start. I was down .2 lbs early in the afternoon yesterday. Then the new diet happened. Jason put me on a different eating plan and I ate so much food between afternoon and evening that I showed a weight gain.
I’m the only one not to lose any the first set but this is not going to stop me. In fact it’s that kinda come from behind that usually helps me come out ahead in the end. While the money would be nice, I really just want to come out ahead for myself. I want to be able to keep up with the boys when I’m gone and then some. I want to be able to do pull ups again which I haven’t been able to do in ages.
Tonight I tested my will power greatly. I’ve learned that while most of the time I am stubborn, when it comes to needing to push myself to do something, my stubbornness turns into will power. I had previously made arrangements to go to a Yelp event with a friend today for dinner. I stuck to my commitment, well, I stuck to both of them. I went and enjoyed three amazing glasses of water. I gave my drink tickets to Andrew, who invited me. I passed on all the delicious food that filled the place, and I rejected all temptation to try anything. This was hard. It was a place I’ve been wanting to visit forever. When I came home, I discovered I was down a little over a pound from last night. Score!
I think this is going to turn out fantastic and I am so grateful for all of those that are helping. Thank you to James Archer for getting all this started. Thank you to Jason and Competitive Fit for pushing me and really helping me achieve what I am looking for. Thank you to all my friends today that understood that I needed to kick in my will power and not have dinner out with them. Thank you to my friends and fellow contestants that are supporting me constantly. Please push me. I need it! And I can handle it!
Please Note: I decided it would be redundant to review establishments twice, so links are available to my Yelp reviews of the places I visited during my visit.
A couple weeks ago I departed for what would be my first complete vacation in almost 3 or 4 years. It’s been so long I’ve completely lost track. It was also the first vacation where I solely focused on myself. Not in a selfish way, in an “it’s about damn time you did something for yourself way.” Two things led me to taking a well deserved week long vacation:
A dent got thrown in my plans due to my brother getting the job he was hoping for. However, it only ended up making my vacation spectacular in a different way. When I arrived Thursday, I decided to stay in San Fran and occupy myself for the day until I met up with my friend Eric in the evening. This also helped me learn the rule that will be important in upcoming trips of packing light. Carrying two carry-ons with me, I looked like a tourist wherever I went.
Arriving around noon, I took the BART and decided to exit at the Civic Center stop in order to hunt down a place to recharge both myself and my cell phone and laptop. My GPS on my phone kept failing me and I wanted to be impromptu and skip yelp recommendations. Eventually I wandered into Celtic Coffee, which by its decor looked like it had great charm! However, it was not all I expected it to be.
Afterwards, I wandered to Alamo Square Park for an afternoon of relaxing with a slightly touristy twist. I trekked what seemed like 6 miles uphill, but I think was only 2, with my two carry-ons for what seemed like forever. The shops along the way were gorgeous. The park was beautiful. I sat beside a fountain, facing Painted Lady Row and plopped down on the grass in the beautiful weather and got out a book to read. All was well until the Full House crazies arrived. Now, I admit, my secret love of the sitcom was one of my reasons for trekking there (that and it was a mile or so away from my final destination). However, I was well aware that the painted lady houses near the park and the park itself were merely scenes from the credits. Soon everyone around me was playing the clip on you tube and discussing in groups this theory of which house it was and why. I was glad that I was headed on my way to meet up with Erik.
Erik took me on a tour of his company, kink.com, which is housed in the amazingly gorgeous San Francisco Armory. I got to meet his coworkers and tour the facilities. I also spent time discussing how the role of interaction design is used within their business. After some fantastic smart people talk and a delightful tour, we headed to Lingba for some dinner, where we also met up with my brother. It was fantastic. Especially the metal straw/spoon contraption that Erik got with his drink.
After dinner my brother took me to browse around Fisherman’s Wharf while we waited to meet up with his girlfriend and head to Santa Rosa. I got to hear the sea otters acting all crazy loud and being ridiculous and walk around in peace and quiet. I saw a left handed store and asked my brother if he minded walking in. As I walked in, I remembered it was International Left Handed Day. The store was about to close so I browsed quickly. However, upon learning that I was left handed, I was allowed to pick any shirt I wanted in the store. I chose one that said “Obama is a Lefty.” I also received a free key chain and a post card. Left handed FTW! Soon we met up with Alex and trekked back to Santa Rosa.
The second day I relaxed for the most part, but did visit a horrible tea and coffee shop I do not think I will ever return back to, Bungalow Coffee & Tea House. That evening I headed to an outdoor barbecue for the congresswoman that Alex works for. Upon returning, no one was tired and off to bowling we went. It was the most interesting bowling ever considering that it was glow bowling but with the lights on. Hmm.
The next thing I know it was the weekend and boy did I have a busy weekend planned as well as the trips and adventures Billy and Alex wanted to take me on. Saturday morning we had a lazy slow start as we wandered the farmer’s market. It was a beautiful day and there was some amazing food there. I had fish tacos for breakfast and a bottle of Coke from Mexico, which, you can also get here in Phoenix, but it was nice to have on vacation as well. Afterwards we trekked to San Francisco, where I was meeting up with the IxDA board of directors to discuss the local group initiative. It was great to get to see everyone, considering I will be missing Interaction 10 this year. After a chat, we headed to PariSoMa for an IxDA SF / board mixer and discussion. I appreciate my brother and the rest of my entourage for sticking it out! What followed was an amazing dinner at Sauce where I was sad to go, but it was late and we needed to head back home.
Sunday was filled with a lazy breakfast and then off to some car shopping for my brother. In the afternoon we headed to see Napa Valley, which I was ecstatic about doing. I was able to visit several wineries, including one that looked like a castle and stroll around Calistoga. We finished off with a late lunch at Pizzeria Tra Vigne and were so stuffed we couldn’t do any more wine tasting. Our weekend was spent and we were tired. Home we went.
Monday was another fun filled day. I had coffee and breakfast made for me in the morning while I laid around and read a book and did some non work work. I then headed to the Charles Schulz museum in the afternoon. Later in the evening, Billy and Alex took me to see the redwoods and up along the coast. We stopped at Lucas Wharf for dinner and then drove along the coast home and crashed early.
Tuesday was my last full say of vacation and I decided to make the best of it. I got up early, had breakfast, lounged, and looked for a spa in Calistoga. In the early afternoon I headed to Lincoln Avenue Spa for three hours of relaxation. I got a body masque, facial, and hot stone massage. Mmmm. Pure bliss. Followed was a quick lunch at Checkers and then stopping by the appropriately named Bad Ass Coffee to try a bad ass mocha. The day ended with my brother making me his amazing Korean BBQ. However, we were both full from snacking in between that we barely had 10 bites.
It was sad to leave, but I was ready to come home and start my birthday festivities. More photos are available on my flickr album.
Wow! I had no idea creating a 30 before 30 list would be so hard! Finding 30 things is hard enough but finding things that are challenging but still obtainable makes is even more difficult. I’ve been working on this for a few weeks now, and was finally able to finish today.
Alas, my 30 before 30.
Can you help with any?
Ready. Set. Go.
Gorgeous View
Although I’ve been to several places in Phoenix since I’ve moved, I had never made it to any other area of Arizona. Until Saturday. Saturday was spent visiting Flagstaff.
Visiting another area outside of Phoenix was on my list of 30 before 30 that I’m in the middle of creating. I hope since I have been in the process of creating it, that I can still cross it off my list. Is that cheating?
Of course the meeting place was WhiteAugust Tea. Starting off a two hour drive with a green tea mojito makes life perfect. One of the staff that day was there my first visit a couple weeks ago. She remembered me by name. That’s pretty amazing.
The drive up was great. My fellow traveler for the day gave me great facts about Arizona and landmarks we were passing the entire way. I love when trips are not only fun and exciting but a learning experience too. There is still so much I have to learn about Arizona and this area in general after spending my entire life prior in the Midwest. Now there are a million other places I have decided I need to visit.
When we arrived our first scheduled visits involved food and coffee. Yes, I’ve given up most caffeine but I was a tourist that day and going on four hours of sleep followed by a two hour drive. Don’t judge. The Beaver Street Brewery was great. Loved the food and found many items on the menu I wanted to try. The beer was pretty good too though I’m still thinking I might like Four Peaks better. This was followed by a trip across the street to the infamous Macy’s. I have to say while the food menu looked fantastic and the mismatched furniture made me swoon, I have had much better mochas. I left a little disappointed.
It was mid afternoon before we made it to the main event, which was taking the ski left at AZ Snow Bowl to do some sight seeing. The view was breathtaking. While I was waiting in line, I took the picture that is included in this post. I cannot believe I actually did an hour round trip on a ski left either. While I’m not afraid of heights, I have this random fear of falling through things and therefore don’t really care for ladders, steps without backs to them, grates on the sidewalk, etc. Yes, it’s kinda odd, but who doesn’t have a quirk. Additionally the trip provided for some great conversation.
On the way home, there was more conversation along with laughing at almost every song on the Flight of the Conchords CD. I have to do more day trips like this.
This entry is long overdue. I am so fortunate to have such amazing friends in my life. It’s entirely true that you can tell who your true friends are during hard times and in times of crisis. It’s when you need them the most, no matter how significant the event may appear to others, that true colors shine through.
I have to admit that I’m pretty picky about my friends. It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve really even had close friends. I hold my friends up to a pretty high standard. This week all my friends shone through and really and truly helped me and supported me in many different ways and some without even being aware.
I went through some difficult times over the weekend that I will write about later when I have the strength. I don’t much like to make excuses for myself or to complain, because all in all I have a great life. However, I also don’t candy coat things and well, it came up, and people were genuinely supportive.
When push came to shove, I was just overcome with awe and surprise at how much my friends truly do care for me. I was given excuses to keep myself busy so I didn’t start dwelling on the negative. I was taken to my favorite coffee spot for a bit of relaxation. My schedule quickly filled up the entire week to keep me busy. I was given lots of hugs and lots of words of encouragement and support.
If you were there. If you gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay. If you asked me if I needed anything. If you got me out of my house. I truly appreciate it more than you will probably ever realize. This is what amazing friendships are made of. And for all of you, I just want to say likewise. I am always there for you. I will always have your back.
I’m now tearing up due to both sadness and joy. I love you all.
Being comfortable with yourself is the key to having a great life – one filled with laughter, success, happiness, and no regrets.
Being comfortable about yourself is such an overwhelming and awesome feeling. It’s not really about settling for your current state, but about accepting it and loving it. It’s about not being ashamed and not afraid to admit that you aren’t perfect. It’s about knowing that you are living your life with purpose. It’s about knowing better than to try to be someone your not, but yet always striving to be something that not only is attainable but is something realistic with a meaningful goal.
I’ve come a long way in my life. I’ve been down some interesting paths, not knowing where I’d end up, and I’ve been through some that I thought for sure were going to lead to disaster. I’ve had people make fun of me, and people tell me that I would never go anywhere. I’ve had people tell me that no one would ever love me, and known what it’s like to be misunderstood.
And yet, I’m sure I’m not alone in this situation. I’m sure there are so many people out there that have had attacks on their dreams and on themselves. Many have been down roads they were unsure of, and many have had monsters in their closet to deal with when they thought no one was looking.
Sometimes this happens to try and knock someone down. I think accepting the truth about yourself makes you stronger, and admitting your truth to others, makes you unbreakable. It takes more courage to stand outside of the crowd than to blend in with it.
Sometimes it happens because someone “loves” you and feels the need to tell you. However, do they really know what you are going through? Do they know what happens in your life every day, and in your thoughts? The truth is they usually don’t. And they end up approaching it the wrong way.
Well, I am glad to announce that I’m comfortable with myself. I know I’m not perfect. I know there are things I need to work on. I’m working on those best I can. But I’m healthy, I’m happy, and I enjoy life. In the end, that is a beautiful thing.
Don’t be ashamed. Be happy with who you are and comfortable with the life you are living. After all, isn’t the most important person to please yourself? You are with yourself 24/7. You are with your thoughts and feelings. Never be afraid to push yourself to do more, after all, that only helps us in the end. However, never be afraid to be who you are and don’t let anyone take that away from you.
One of my favorite quotes, the thought I live by, and the only thing I have ever considered having inscribed on myself is
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
Leave me a note. Let’s hear it for all the awesome confident and comfortable people out there!
I’ve officially spent 6 months in Phoenix. Monday will be my 6 month mark at my current job. Today marks 6 months of this blog.
Once I realized how long it had been, it made me surprised it had been that long already, while other people said it felt like I had been here longer. Whichever way you see it, I can say without a doubt that I am completely satisfied with the decision I made to accept a position here and am happier than I have been in a long time. Of course I miss my friends and family back in the Midwest dearly, but this has been a good move for me. I’m the farthest away from home I’ve ever been, and have really worked even more on my independence, happiness, courage, and life balance.
Today I went back and read my first blog post, and I have to admit, I am tearing up some, especially when I think about how the name for my blog came about, and re-reading the text message from my mother, and thinking about how important that message was.
“Been thinking of you all day. I am so proud of your courage and independence. Go far and be happy. Call when you get home to Arizona. Love, Mom.”
I don’t think I ever focused on the use of the word “home” in that message as I should have. Now that I think about it, I don’t recall another time that my mom has said home in any other manner than to mean my parents’ house.
Home. I truly am home here. I am also comfortable saying that now. I cannot describe how blessed I have been since I’ve been here. All my friends and family have been truly supportive even though we really miss each other. Likewise, I’ve been able to make some new friends, and lots of new acquaintances. Slowly but surely, I have pushed myself into the Phoenix scene.
I am home here because I was able to start a local group in Phoenix for the Interaction Design Association (IxDA). It was challenging, seeing as I didn’t have many connections here. Most of my connections were back in the Eastern Time Zone. It’s been very rewarding. We are already having our second meeting in a few weeks!
I am home here because I am thinking about actually becoming a first time home buyer.
I am home here because I have already had adventures that you truly only have when you are home; especially those embarrassing adventures.
I am home because I truly enjoy my job and look forward to going to work every day (almost).
I am home here because I can easily call it home. I see myself here.
I want to thank everyone for giving me the courage to start a new chapter here, and to everyone that welcomed me into Phoenix.
My weekend was so busy. Even though I was away from my family for the holiday, I didn’t feel alone at all.
Saturday I was invited to a barbecue. I wasn’t terribly hungry, but I don’t like to miss out on chances to see friends and well, who has ever known me to turn down Rock Band? Ended up being a dual birthday party as well and I had some fabulous to die for white cake with cherries in it. I know what my next birthday cake will be!
I met even more new people including Dani’s awesome sister and everyone’s absolutely adorable children! I don’t get a chance to be around kids as much anymore and while I don’t want to have any of my own, I absolutely *love* children. I got to play Rock Band with them and we spent some time coloring too!
Rock Band was a great time. I spent a lot of time drumming but was given the chance to belt out some tunes as well, which is always nice. After the party died down a bit, I was invited by Todd over to Kevin’s house for a birthday party of sorts last minute, so I drug Scott with me too. As with most nights involving multiple parties, it was a late one.
Sunday was a slow morning; your classic lazy Sunday. After mulling around for hours in the morning, I went to run errands. First was Ikea to pick up lamps for work. Yay for the Basisk in solving the stylish floor lamp with a dimmer quest. Next was the grocery store for items for dinner/lunches this week as well as to make salad for Easter dinner at Kerri and Eric’s. By the time I got back, it was almost 3 already. Party was at 4. It was a nice relaxing night at their house. We played a few board games and had a great dinner and some dessert. We chatted for a bit and before I knew it, it was almost 10pm and I was ready to crash.
It wasn’t a typical Easter, but nothing has been “typical” since I moved to Phoenix, and that’s the way I prefer it. Everything’s been an adventure and turned out fantastic in the end. I’d have it no other way.
Occasionally I’ll see people in my Twitter stream tweet about something they posted to 12 Seconds. I have always been the person to not want a web cam, so it was never anything I was all that excited about.
See, I have this fear of being on camera. I think I look ridiculous. I also hate my recorded speaking voice as well. Record me singing fine. Record me talking on camera. Not as fine. I’m not sure where this stems from but I just don’t care for it. On top of that web cams just freak me out in general. I wouldn’t even get one when my brother was overseas. We did voice chat only on Skype.
So, now I have this MacBook. I’ve had it for about a month now. When I got it, someone recommended I sign up for 12 Seconds. It was then that not only did I sign up for an account, but I remembered this damn thing came with a web cam. Oy.
I have an account, and I haven’t used it yet. I actually completely forgot about it again until I received an email notification that a friend was following me there.
I should probably get some courage. Maybe tomorrow.
