Enter your email address:
Delivered by FeedBurner
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So, this is what happens when I attempt to make time for dating, which happens to also be on my 30 before 30 list. As you recall, my previous crazy boy post discussed my latest dating attempt fiasco. Seems we have a trend going on here. Every few days, the boy makes another attempt to contact me via various forms of communication. And yes, I’m calling him a boy. A 36 year old man would surely not do this. I’m starting to think it’s like one of those movies, what’s the name of it, where the kid is trapped in the grown man’s body? I think Bruce Willis is in it? That movie. That’s what must be happening right now.
Yesterday I came home to find an email from this same boy. Just seeing his name in my inbox made me shudder. Does he not get the hint? I haven’t contacted him in a week and a half. At all. In any way, shape, or form. I also mentioned I was taking a long business trip soon. Knowing this douche he probably thought I was joking.
I’m typically one to go after what I want, but even I know when it’s not reciprocated. Am I alone in this? Is it hard to figure that out? Honestly fellow readers, I am trying to think of logical explanations for this and thoughts of how long this will last before he gives up. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? The only other time this has happened to me I had dated the guy for 6 months beforehand, which gave it a little more merit than having had NO DATES!!
I didn’t read the email. I deleted it without opening it. I didn’t want to know what was inside. I think a fun game might be to imagine what it might have said. Thoughts? Feel free to comment.
Seriously. It’s times like these that I realize why some people are still single. Then it makes me wonder why I am because I don’t have these horridly bad habits.
A couple weeks ago I agreed to start talking to a guy that one of my friends knew. He’s a pretty nice guy and we exchanged quite a few emails the past few weeks that were very conversational. It was very easy to keep the exchange going and not die down or cry out of boredom. I figured it couldn’t hurt to meet up.
Plans soon became cloudy as my free day was the Packers/Vikings game. I invited him to come, but he mentioned that it started earlier and he had some appointments so he couldn’t meet up. We decided that I wouldn’t want to be interrupted during the game so we’d possibly meet up after depending on how I was doing.
Now fast forward a couple days to the day of the game.
Morning comes and I have an email where he’s asking me to breakfast the next day. I’m at work with no time to respond. Afternoon hits and I get a 3 minute voicemail immediately followed by a text message asking me if I got said email and voicemail. Really? Yeah, this was starting to creep me out.
I head to the game, and have my disaster fiasco. I get a text from him about 20 minutes into the game that says he will stop by where I’m at around 7:30.
No. This was not part of the plan. The plan was to wait until the game was over and go from there. So I text him and tell him not to bother because the bar I was headed to didn’t have the game on so I was elsewhere.
I then get a phone call DURING THE GAME that I do not pick up. Immediately after I get a text that says to let him know where I’m at and he’ll swing by. I let him know that I just wanted to veg and hang with friends and/or myself and I get another one pleading to go out. I ignore it.
The next day I get an email and a text message that I don’t respond to.
As of today it’s been three whole days and I thought this was over, until I got a text message today.
Seriously boy. You interrupted my Packer game and you were a little too intense. This is done.
Alas, my recent twitter post on making watching Hitch a requirement for all males made me think a little bit. What other movies should they all watch if they are interested in dating women? Yep… there are some. Stop thinking with the brain below your belt and you might be good to go.
Hitch: This movie has one of the best opening monologues.
“Basic principles - no woman wakes up saying ‘God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!’ Now, she might say ‘This is a really bad time for me,’ or something like ‘I just need some space,’ or my personal favorite ‘I’m really into my career right now.’ You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? ‘Cause she’s lying to you, that’s why. You understand me? Lying! It’s not a bad time for her. She doesn’t need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she’s really saying is ‘Uh, get away from me now,’ or possibly ‘Try harder, stupid,’ but which one is it?”
Get the picture? Don’t just expect to show off your insane manliness or how much you are turned on by us. That may work for lust, but in the end, lust isn’t enough.
The Bachelor: One of the most classic scenarios I’ve seen during all the time I’ve spent dating. Finding a great relationshp and truly enjoying life and then being scared shitless when the woman “all of a sudden” wants more than that. WTF? Really? You really thought she wanted to be single forever? She may not be the typical woman. She’s probably better than that. However, it’s not all that uncommon to think that she may want to spend the rest of her life with you. Especially after a few years. The moment where Jimmy is in the row boat with the priest and discovers that he does truly love her is one of the best scenes ever. Don’t lead women on. If you aren’t in it for the long hall, get the fuck out. If you are, step up and prove it!
Fever Pitch: We all have our hobbies. The trick is to not let your hobby turn into an obsession. If it does, and you are focusing more time on that obsession than your girlfriend, you are an idiot. Everyone does activities for fun and are able to also manage their work and social and romantic lives. You’ll be able to too. If you really think that the activity is the most important thing in the world, fess up, stop dating, and live in your mom’s basement.
Can you think of more? Submit a comment and let me know what movie you suggest and why. Let’s build a library for men!
Sometimes I’m not surprised why I don’t have a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I can see how I might seem demanding to some.
In the end I really just don’t want an asshat and I’m not sure why that’s such a bit deal.
However now we can add something else to my list. I think though rather than this being an addition, this is something that displays all the qualities if someone I’m looking for. A guy that’s a little pretentious but not an asshat. Someone that I can enjoy a PBR with one minute and a great wine the next. A guy that will watch football with me. Someone that’s not afraid to learn and try new things. Someone that’s not afraid of my independence. A guy that’s not bothered that I’m smart and I have a career.
And the best of all… a guy that’s not afraid to dance. Not even in this situation. Know a single man like this in Phoenix? Send him my way
Last night I headed to Sheila and Evo’s house to celebrate Debbie’s birthday Hawaiian style. Second Hawaiian themed party I’ve been to this month, and it was as fantastic as I expected.
As it started out that day, I ran errands that afternoon to find something I was in the mood to bring, ingredients for a dish to take along, and Strongbow for Debbie. I was able to pick myself up some Boddington’s but four stores had no Strongbow? Ridiculous.
By the time evening came around I was ready to head out. First stop though? Coffee for me and then Bevmo to pick up Strongbow. I ordered a large mocha from Solo (mmmm), but on the way to Bevmo discovered a flaw in the cup. It was religiously dripping.. not only on my almost white new pair of jeans but my cup holder was holding about 1/8 of my mocha. Ugh. So there was a detour back to my house to change jeans as well as grab a Pipeline Porter to start the night off, as it has Kona coffee in it. I guess I jinxed myself with the slight mention on twitter that I was thinking about turning my awesome off.
When I finally arrived, I thought I had ended up at the wrong house on accident; it was way too quiet! Good thing I was wrong, because I was ready to party. I handed Debbie her Strongbow and opened up the porter. I was then lei-ed twice at once and thus initiated into party mode.
Sheila made the best red velvet cake, despite it not having a red coloration. I’m serious. It was damn good. And I know red velvet cake. It’s one of the only two cakes I really like. I think for my birthday I will have Sheila make me her red velvet cake and CJ make me her cherry cake of awesome.
There were so many awesome people there and it made me so happy to be invited and considered part of the gang. Sometimes I think I am still an outsider to Phoenix so it’s nice to know that I’m really not. You are all amazing friends. Truly.
Dancing happened. Talking happened. Drunk dials happened. Chaos happened. Good times happened. Sea Monkeys happened.
I also realized that I have been a small topic of conversation. I think I came across last night like it was a bad thing, but it really wasn’t. It was kinda cute and flattering really. You guys are awesome. I have such great friends. Now just hook me up with a man that fits my requirements and we are good!
Oy. Now it’s time for Monday to start.
While this might not be a new philosophy, it’s one that has come out and punched me in the face lately.
It’s pretty easy to figure out and shouldn’t take that much explaining.
While it would be nice to be dating, it’s not the first thing I think of every day when I wake up. However, I do get reminders from my friends and acquaintances that I am not dating as well as teasing remarks when I am headed out with one of my good guy friends.
Additionally, I haven’t exactly had the best dating record. At all. Not really sure I trust myself to even find anyone at this point.
It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that it’s not on the top of my list.
So, instead of constantly asking me why I’m not dating anyone and/or assuming all my guy friends are guys I am dating, I am giving everyone a challenge:
Set me up.
My friends should know me as well, if not better, than myself.
Ready. Set. Go.
The end.
In Novmeber, I posted an entry about everyone here assuming I’m married. So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me now that I am getting an influx of people asking me why I’m single. Sometimes it’s in an accusatory way and sometimes just an extremely surprising way.
I get the feeling some think it’s embarrassing to be in your 20s and be single. I don’t necessarily agree. Being married isn’t the only meaningful accomplishment in someone’s life. I also am very dead set against divorce. I’ll make damn sure whomever I am involved with is someone I can see myself being with past a few months. It did make me start to think about why I am single though, and I have come up with a few ideas.
1) Moving:This is a recent reason. In the past two years I have lived in four states. What can I say, part of it is circumstance and part of it is getting bored with where I currently was. I was in a serious relationship before my move to Arizona. However, I didn’t think we were at the point that I was comfortable with him moving 2000 miles with me. However, I think that I am now somewhere that I can see myself staying for awhile. Hopefully this will no longer be an issue.
2) Career: I have been very career focused since undergrad, but even more so since graduate school. I have always planned on having a career, and a career I enjoy. The slight downfall is that HCD is still a little hard to find jobs in, and so I am limited a little bit to most major cities. Not sure I could ever be a happy housewife the rest of my life. I love my career and I love the challenges and success I have at work every day.
3) Children: The past two times I have been in a serious relationship, the other half always got upset when it came time for the “how many children do you want to have” talk. Oddly enough they are the ones that want all these kids. As for me, it’s not the number of children, but the fact that I don’t want to have children. I have had my mind set on adopting ever since I started thinking about children. I never really thought that would be an issue with guys, but apparently it is.
4) Independent: I’m a very independent person and while I love being with my friends and family, I also enjoy (and need) my own time. I have to have my space and I am very comfortable with who I am as an individual and will not let that go. Sometimes I will want to do my own thing. Sometimes I will want a girls night, and there may be times I just want to hang with my guy friends. I need a guy secure enough to handle that.
5) Type Mismatch: Other than that, I think it comes down to just not finding the right type of guy at the right time. Does this mean I’m picky? It’s quite possible, but I also think I have that right. Maybe I expect more than the typical date too. I appreciate people that put effort into relationships, this holds true for my friends as well. Sometimes I think guys only want girly girls and while I absolutely love dressing up, adore the color pink and anything that sparkles, I am not a ditz and I also love football, beer, going to sporting events and kicking everyone’s ass in Mortal Kombat.
So there, I’m single and I don’t really mind. All you other single professional women out there should feel the same. Don’t tell me about my biological clock and all that psycho nonsense. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for, a great career, and a rockstar social life. I’m perfectly happy with that too. When a guy comes along that can deal with that, then we’ll talk.
Peace Out!
With recommendations from various people, my friends and I decided to head to The Clarendon in Phoenix for our New Years Eve festivities. After some issues with our taxi, the six of us finally ended up there safe and sound. The hotel was decorated brilliantly. There was snow (ice probably) on the ground and fake snow blowing over the roof. Snowflake lights covered the building. After waiting to get in for awhile, we got our VIP bands and headed in to enjoy the night.
Kayla, Rina and I had a chance to enjoy the rooftop for awhile and that was a nice way to start the night. But soon, it was time to hit the dance floor. The band Static was playing that night, and our neighbor Elisa knows the lead female vocalist. What a fantastic band!! They were really good and had a great assortment of songs. There was a lot of dancing and I have to admit I was pretty much a second member of the band, frequently doing some backup and solo singing as well as dancing on stage with the slightly gorgeous male vocalist.
I received the nickname “hot mama” from Kayla and I’m sure that had to do with my marilyn monroe-esque dress. Unfortunately I don’t have any closeup pics of me and the dress but as I do, I’ll probably edit this post or create another blog entry. I was in a lot of people’s random photos so if anyone is reading this and has some, please please pass them along!
I also realized more than ever (and not just because it’s time to think of resolutions), that men are totally not even worth the fuss over. They are extremely shallow and conceited. I find it hard to believe any of them are even worth a first date kiss. I’m sure I’ll have more on this later too!
Here’s a photo of some of the girls on the sleigh inside the lobby of The Clarendon.
I’m pretty sure singleness isn’t a word at all (even though spell check seems to think it’s fine), but I think it fits just fine in the title so I’m leaving it
One of my favorite parts of reading CNN for a few in the mornings is seeing the articles from other sites that come up. Yesterday, one titled, Dads Always Ruin Men for Women appeared.
The article discusses how no matter what type of relationship women have with their fathers and with their families overall growing up, it can have an impact on how they see men and what they look for in a serious relationship with a man. Several situations are discussed such as the spoiled princess who always gets what she wants and expects the man in her life to do the same, the girl who receives no interaction with her father and as a woman who strives to be accepted by any man, and the girl who goes through divorce and in the end despises men.
Then there was a persona of a woman similar to myself and the relationship I had and still have with my father. I love my father to death and completely trust and respect him. I am always in awe of how much he has accomplished and been through in his life, and most of all, how until I grew up and started to really think about it as I had similar experiences of my own, I never truly realized how any problem or road block that might have been encountered was never shared with us. My parents truly did everything they could to make sure that myself along with my five other siblings had (and still have) the best life experiences we can. I was given the opportunity to participate in extracurricular activities; in fact it was encouraged. I tried dance classes, gymnastics, baton, piano, soccer, volleyball, cheerleading, track, and countless other activities. As long as I was enriching my life with those activities and keeping my grades up in school, I was not required to have a job. I didn’t get everything that I wanted as the spoiled princess would, but we definitely were not on the short end of the stick. I was given a car to use when I turned 16.
According to this article, this should make it hard for me to find a man to keep in my life because it will be hard for me to find a man that has similar skills in negotiation and compromise because of my upbringing. The end result is me compromising more than I should in the relationship.
So oddly enough I would say that in my longest relationship (almost 5 years), this was the situation. However, in the three serious relationships I’ve had over the years, two of them did not share this theme.
I don’t really agree with the title of the article that a girl’s relationship with her father ruins her chance at love as a woman. There is definitely truth to the fact that life experiences shape who we are and our perceptions of the world, but I don’t think it ruins us. Not everyone has the same personality, and that is what makes us unique and why we don’t pick men out of catalogs (well, we typically don’t if we want it to last). I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my parents for anything. I might find someone that accepts what I need in my life, and I might not. At least I won’t be the cat lady. I don’t much care for cats.
