In Novmeber, I posted an entry about everyone here assuming I’m married. So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me now that I am getting an influx of people asking me why I’m single. Sometimes it’s in an accusatory way and sometimes just an extremely surprising way.
I get the feeling some think it’s embarrassing to be in your 20s and be single. I don’t necessarily agree. Being married isn’t the only meaningful accomplishment in someone’s life. I also am very dead set against divorce. I’ll make damn sure whomever I am involved with is someone I can see myself being with past a few months. It did make me start to think about why I am single though, and I have come up with a few ideas.
1) Moving:This is a recent reason. In the past two years I have lived in four states. What can I say, part of it is circumstance and part of it is getting bored with where I currently was. I was in a serious relationship before my move to Arizona. However, I didn’t think we were at the point that I was comfortable with him moving 2000 miles with me. However, I think that I am now somewhere that I can see myself staying for awhile. Hopefully this will no longer be an issue.
2) Career: I have been very career focused since undergrad, but even more so since graduate school. I have always planned on having a career, and a career I enjoy. The slight downfall is that HCD is still a little hard to find jobs in, and so I am limited a little bit to most major cities. Not sure I could ever be a happy housewife the rest of my life. I love my career and I love the challenges and success I have at work every day.
3) Children: The past two times I have been in a serious relationship, the other half always got upset when it came time for the “how many children do you want to have” talk. Oddly enough they are the ones that want all these kids. As for me, it’s not the number of children, but the fact that I don’t want to have children. I have had my mind set on adopting ever since I started thinking about children. I never really thought that would be an issue with guys, but apparently it is.
4) Independent: I’m a very independent person and while I love being with my friends and family, I also enjoy (and need) my own time. I have to have my space and I am very comfortable with who I am as an individual and will not let that go. Sometimes I will want to do my own thing. Sometimes I will want a girls night, and there may be times I just want to hang with my guy friends. I need a guy secure enough to handle that.
5) Type Mismatch: Other than that, I think it comes down to just not finding the right type of guy at the right time. Does this mean I’m picky? It’s quite possible, but I also think I have that right. Maybe I expect more than the typical date too. I appreciate people that put effort into relationships, this holds true for my friends as well. Sometimes I think guys only want girly girls and while I absolutely love dressing up, adore the color pink and anything that sparkles, I am not a ditz and I also love football, beer, going to sporting events and kicking everyone’s ass in Mortal Kombat.
So there, I’m single and I don’t really mind. All you other single professional women out there should feel the same. Don’t tell me about my biological clock and all that psycho nonsense. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for, a great career, and a rockstar social life. I’m perfectly happy with that too. When a guy comes along that can deal with that, then we’ll talk.
Peace Out!