Hi. My name is T. And I’m not a social media professional, expert, douche-bag or whatever else you prefer to call it.

Quite frankly, I’m not sure what the big deal is and why everyone’s geeked to try and become one and add the title to their resume. It’s social media. And I’m not that interested. Sure, I use it. My face is on the book. I do the twitters. But I use I kinda tailor it for my own purposes that don’t have much to do with the focus of social media. That focus is to be.. well social.

To me social media should gear around your connections with other people on these various outlets. It’s what you have in common and what you make of it.

Unfortunately, it’s turned into going to a bajillion events to be noticed. And checking in on a million platforms. And well, I’m not all that interested in being noticed. Or trying to make friends. Or blasting out where I am at every second of my day. Social networking has turned into people trying to be the center of attention and trying to one up each other. Who can have the wittiest tweets? Who attends the most events? Who has the most followers? Who is seen with who?

I don’t give a fuck.

Sure, I have friends and acquaintances. And I care about them very much. But I’ve learned the hard way and learned a long time ago that it’s not about living your life for other people and to be noticed. At least not for me. And having a lot of followers doesn’t give you a lot of true friends. I’d rather have friends that text me, call me, and hang out with me on more than a social media event setting.

So, while everyone else is trying to be one…. I’ll stand on the rooftop and admit I’m not. Nor do I want to be. You won’t see me out there trying every single platform available and you won’t see me out there scheduling tweets. I tweet and post when I’m up and available and have something to say. I attend the events I am interested in and if I’m too tired or simply am not in the mood, I won’t feel compelled to go or risk my social status. I’ll leave the expertise for those that want it.

Does this make me anti-social? Those who think that obviously don’t know me. Oddly enough, I’m pretty outgoing and somewhat of an extrovert. I just don’t want to be an expert at it

The end.

Heh. It’s been awhile hasn’t it. Combination of lack of wireless on top of being very busy has kept me away the past few weeks.

It’s been a great experience being here. I feel so fortunate to not only have the opportunity to have this experience but be able to learn from so many experiences I couldn’t even have imagined having.

This post isn’t about that though. It’s about the realization that in the past year or so I have truly found myself some amazing friends. Sometimes you don’t realize how luck you are immediately. I’ve always known that I have some truly special people in my life but lately it’s really shown through.

Even with technology it’s hard to keep up with friends. I know this because I’ve been there and I’ve been guilty of doing it. Your life just gets busy and if you aren’t reminded you don’t often think to call someone or send them a message.

My friends are awesome though. Especially the past few days. I can’t tell you how much it means to get little emails that someone’s thinking of me, an @ reply on twitter, or a message on facebook asking me how I’m doing; letting me know someone’s anxious for me to come home (and meaning it).

It’s not only my friends back stateside either. Friends that I have made while I’m here have been the same way, and it’s very genuine. It’s the small things that keep me going here… and also make me want to come home. They are what make me bust out laughing for 20 minutes at a time (like I did most of today) and what make me shed bittersweet tears for what I am missing back home. They are what make me realize there are people in my life I should’ve had more contact with while I was back home.. and that I shouldn’t be shy in my love life anymore.. there may be someone I need to ask out when I arrive back safe and sound.

I want to let you know that I truly love and appreciate all of you. Those who have worried about me when I haven’t been around for a few days at a time. Those who have sent me little cards and care packages… you don’t know how much a letter means when you’re here. Those who have even called me or IM’ed me to check on me. Those who help motivate me to do all I can while I’m here and try to make a difference for myself and others.  Those who are okay with me being myself. Those that help give me a sense of normalcy over here. Those who are there when I need someone to vent with…. and those who know that sometimes I need to cry.. and are okay with that.

You know who you are. If you are back in the states, I cannot wait to see you once more. If we met while I’m deployed, I hope we have the chance to keep in touch and meet once again when we are all home safe and sound with our families and friends.

I know I am lacking a vacation tweet. That will take more as I have to do a bunch of photo sorting so it’s going to have to come later in the week. For now, we will update on my most recent adventure, my birthday extravaganza that ended up being a crazy success.

First and foremost, I want to thank all of my friends for being so incredibly amazing. The flood of birthday wishes I got via various sources throughout the day was so overwhelming and flattering. I cannot believe that many people cared enough to wish me a happy birthday and I love you all. There were so many that I found it hard to thank everyone individually. I truly apologize if this bothered you. Please know that I am ever so flattered and grateful.

Thursday, I headed to the Yucca Tap Room which I haven’t been abandoning for ages to enjoy some good ol rockaroke. A nice sized group of my friends showed up (Bob, Jessy, Eric, Debbie, Noah, Marc, Nicholas and his wife) and actually stayed for a good amount of time. It was nice to finally get to meet Noah in person and he even bought me a party pink fedora as a present. Additionally, I was able to wear *the* pink fedora for a few minutes, in which a photo op occurred. I got to sing one song, (after they played the birthday medley since someone informed them) which was Cheap Trick’s I Want You to Want Me and we got to see several classic rockaroke moments as well.

Photo Courtesy of @hepnova

Friday, was Phoenix Actually’s first event and it went perfectly well. We held an open bowling event at Sunset Bowl in Phoenix which was $11 for all you can bowl and shoes. So many people showed up that I knew as well as new people I had the pleasure of meeting. I am so glad to see this really starting to take off and am excited for the future of Phoenix Actually. I got a birthday medley here as well which included Shorty It’s Your Birthday . I believe that moment got captured on video by my dear friend and fellow Phoenix Actually visioneer Matt. Once again, it was a fantastic night. Related, I had the best bowling shoes ever.

Last night was my polka dot light rail party, which started out with dinner at Hanny’s. I hopped on the light rail with my dear friends CJ and Jessica and we were instantly in love with the decor and vibe of the place. We took over the 2nd floor of the restaurant and were joined by about 12 other people throughout the night. The service sucked and the food was okay but we will had a blast. About 10 of us ended up heading over to SideBar afterward where I was able to enjoy a red velvet, a white rabbit, and a lemon drop on top of crazy conversation. It was a late night, and I didn’t end up at home until 3:30am. This is pretty much why I didn’t wake up until 11am on Sunday. The cutest shot of the night was one Marc took of CJ and I at SideBar.

Photo Courtesy of CJ

Today, the festivities got extended as I ended up with a group of 12 or so at Fez for breakfast. And yes, their breakfast is just as good as their dinner. I will be back for sure. Afterwards I went to watch District 9. Well worth it. Now I’m trying to catch up with everything I haven’t done in two weeks with the combination of vacation and birthday.

You all have spoiled me. I wouldn’t know what to do if I ever stopped having such wonderful friends. Thank you for making my weekend so spectacular and for keeping me younger than my age. You’re all super fabulous. Special thanks to Marc for being the one to stick it through all three birthday events. You rock.

This entry is long overdue. I am so fortunate to have such amazing friends in my life. It’s entirely true that you can tell who your true friends are during hard times and in times of crisis. It’s when you need them the most, no matter how significant the event may appear to others, that true colors shine through.

I have to admit that I’m pretty picky about my friends. It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve really even had close friends. I hold my friends up to a pretty high standard. This week all my friends shone through and really and truly helped me and supported me in many different ways and some without even being aware.

I went through some difficult times over the weekend that I will write about later when I have the strength. I don’t much like to make excuses for myself or to complain, because all in all I have a great life. However, I also don’t candy coat things and well, it came up, and people were genuinely supportive.

When push came to shove, I was just overcome with awe and surprise at how much my friends truly do care for me. I was given excuses to keep myself busy so I didn’t start dwelling on the negative. I was taken to my favorite coffee spot for a bit of relaxation. My schedule quickly filled up the entire week to keep me busy. I was given lots of hugs and lots of words of encouragement and support.

If you were there. If you gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay. If you asked me if I needed anything. If you got me out of my house. I truly appreciate it more than you will probably ever realize. This is what amazing friendships are made of. And for all of you, I just want to say likewise. I am always there for you. I will always have your back.

I’m now tearing up due to both sadness and joy. I love you all.

Maintaining long distance friendships can be hard. I’ve moved around a lot so I have friends in several places. Most of my long distance friendships are back in the midwest where I have a 2-3 hour time difference depending on the time of year and one is overseas. They are great friendships. They weren’t ended because I moved to a new location, but they have the chance of becoming lost.

There are a few factors against me that cause issues:

• Time difference
• Busy & hectic schedule
• I typically am not a fan of talking on the phone

I have several ways to update people on what’s going on in my life such as twitter, facebook, and this here super awesome blog of mine. I feel bad though that it’s becoming a replacement for actual communication and conversation. That I’m missing out on what’s going on in everyone’s lives. I don’t want my friendships to be geographically based, but it’s really hard when the only time I have to talk is when the other is in bed and vice versa.

Does anyone else have an issue like this? If so, how do you resolve it. What do you do to make sure that you have normal contact with your friends?

Have you ever moved to a new school/town as a child? Or switched jobs/companies as an adult? Remember how difficult it was to remember everyone’s name and how everone else only had to remember one new name?

Yeah. I feel like that right about now.

Why now? I’ve been at my job almost 9 months and in Phoenix the same amount of time.

Well, here’s the situation. This weekend I was pretty busy. I met up with several different people at various times. I had a blast. Then all of a sudden I have people requesting to add me to facebook and twitter. Some of them I recognized right off the bat. Some of them I recognized after I saw the friends we had in common. Then there were some that I knew from hearing others mention them in conversation and the ones that I for some reason couldn’t recollect if I’d met them or not.

I’m typically pretty good with names and faces and absolutely love meeting new people.  However, the fact that I am having trouble recollecting all of them is reminding me a bit of going to a new school. It’s easier for everyone else to remember one new person than for me to remember the bajillion people I encounter in Phoenix. I don’t like the feeling. I know it’s memory overload more than lack of paying attention, but I still feel horrible.

Therefore I’d like to apologize to everyone in advance (and possibly some even in hindsight) for seeming like I’m a little spacy. I don’t know why all of a sudden I am having such an issue remembering faces and names. It’s not on purpose. Feel free to give me a shout out.

Or maybe someone should make me flashcards :-/

Holy.

Shit.

I’m not sure where June went, but I’m pretty sure I skipped right though it. I can’t believe that the 4th of July is in two weeks, which in Tonia time, pretty much means it’s tomorrow.

I feel like I haven’t had enough time to myself, and worse yet, that I’ve been abandoning all my friends. The few days I do have, I try to take to myself or I play catch up on the side projects I’m working on.

Although I do a pretty good job at balancing my life, and I wouldn’t want any less chaos, I do think I need to do a better job in keeping touch with all my friends. I think part of the issue is lack of time and hating phone calls. *sigh* Twitter and text are my best friends.

I can’t say thank you enough to my dear friend CJ for being willing to start a karaoke adventure with me after #evfn last night, which I actually attended without Jessica having to text me and drag me out of my coma state. I chatted with CJ while I was in the airport on Thursday and mentioned we should do karaoke and it was born, tweeted, and facebooked. Not only did the expected crew of CJ and Debbie come, but Steph, Jessica, and two new people I just met that night showed up also. I ended up being coaxed into closing the bar down. It was fantastic.

I think I’m going to plan a dinner/game night as soon as I find a definite free day. What are everyone’s plans next Saturday?

Last night I headed to Sheila and Evo’s house to celebrate Debbie’s birthday Hawaiian style. Second Hawaiian themed party I’ve been to this month, and it was as fantastic as I expected.

As it started out that day, I ran errands that afternoon to find something I was in the mood to bring, ingredients for a dish to take along, and Strongbow for Debbie. I was able to pick myself up some Boddington’s but four stores had no Strongbow? Ridiculous.

By the time evening came around I was ready to head out. First stop though? Coffee for me and then Bevmo to pick up Strongbow. I ordered a large mocha from Solo (mmmm), but on the way to Bevmo discovered a flaw in the cup. It was religiously dripping.. not only on my almost white new pair of jeans but my cup holder was holding about 1/8 of my mocha. Ugh. So there was a detour back to my house to change jeans as well as grab a Pipeline Porter to start the night off, as it has Kona coffee in it. I guess I jinxed myself with the slight mention on twitter that I was thinking about turning my awesome off.

When I finally arrived, I thought I had ended up at the wrong house on accident; it was way too quiet! Good thing I was wrong, because I was ready to party. I handed Debbie her Strongbow and opened up the porter. I was then lei-ed twice at once and thus initiated into party mode.

Sheila made the best red velvet cake, despite it not having a red coloration. I’m serious. It was damn good. And I know red velvet cake. It’s one of the only two cakes I really like. I think for my birthday I will have Sheila make me her red velvet cake and CJ make me her cherry cake of awesome.

There were so many awesome people there and it made me so happy to be invited and considered part of the gang. Sometimes I think I am still an outsider to Phoenix so it’s nice to know that I’m really not. You are all amazing friends. Truly.

Dancing happened. Talking happened. Drunk dials happened. Chaos happened. Good times happened. Sea Monkeys happened.

I also realized that I have been a small topic of conversation. I think I came across last night like it was a bad thing, but it really wasn’t. It was kinda cute and flattering really. You guys are awesome. I have such great friends. Now just hook me up with a man that fits my requirements and we are good!

Oy. Now it’s time for Monday to start.

I’ve officially spent 6 months in Phoenix.
Monday will be my 6 month mark at my current job.
Today marks 6 months of this blog.

Once I realized how long it had been, it made me surprised it had been that long already, while other people said it felt like I had been here longer. Whichever way you see it, I can say without a doubt that I am completely satisfied with the decision I made to accept a position here and am happier than I have been in a long time. Of course I miss my friends and family back in the Midwest dearly, but this has been a good move for me. I’m the farthest away from home I’ve ever been, and have really worked even more on my independence, happiness, courage, and life balance.

Today I went back and read my first blog post, and I have to admit, I am tearing up some, especially when I think about how the name for my blog came about, and re-reading the text message from my mother, and thinking about how important that message was.

“Been thinking of you all day. I am so proud of your courage and independence. Go far and be happy. Call when you get home to Arizona. Love, Mom.”

I don’t think I ever focused on the use of the word “home” in that message as I should have. Now that I think about it, I don’t recall another time that my mom has said home in any other manner than to mean my parents’ house.

Home. I truly am home here. I am also comfortable saying that now. I cannot describe how blessed I have been since I’ve been here. All my friends and family have been truly supportive even though we really miss each other. Likewise, I’ve been able to make some new friends, and lots of new acquaintances. Slowly but surely, I have pushed myself into the Phoenix scene.

I am home here because I was able to start a local group in Phoenix for the Interaction Design Association (IxDA). It was challenging, seeing as I didn’t have many connections here. Most of my connections were back in the Eastern Time Zone. It’s been very rewarding. We are already having our second meeting in a few weeks!

I am home here because I am thinking about actually becoming a first time home buyer.

I am home here because I have already had adventures that you truly only have when you are home; especially those embarrassing adventures.

I am home because I truly enjoy my job and look forward to going to work every day (almost).

I am home here because I can easily call it home. I see myself here.

I want to thank everyone for giving me the courage to start a new chapter here, and to everyone that welcomed me into Phoenix.