Don’t get me wrong. I am very glad to be home (though slightly bittersweet and missing my Marines and my Divas). However, now that reality is starting to set back in here, I am beginning to get the blues a little bit. Today was the first day at work that everything started to come together (projects, meetings, etc etc). While it took 3 days, it *only* took 3 days. And I love it. I’ve always enjoyed my job and looked forward to going to work. But I think it took so much starting to happen at work for me to start stressing out about how much I have going on in general that I need to get in order when I’m back.. I’m starting to wonder how long people think I need to recuperate as opposed to how long I think I need and at what speed of pace I can operate for the next couple months.

So far I haven’t been doing too bad in my opinion. I’m slowly unpacking and as I am, I’m figuring out what to do with things rather than just throw them everywhere. I’ve started sorting items and washing all that came back with me from Afghanistan. I’ve been checking my mail and I’ve started to get my checkbook balanced again and a hold on where I am with all my bills.

Likewise, I’ve been making a list of items I need to accomplish and know in the back of my head which ones can wait and which ones can’t. I’ve also been spending less time on the computer, so I don’t see the list as often.

I’ve made sure to see most of my friends and at least contact some that I haven’t had a chance to sync up with yet. I have the projects I do outside of work on my back burner and have started to contemplate them and where I need to pick up.

All the while, I’ve been trying to figure out how to keep my health in check and get this sleep thing figured out. That’s been the worst. Some days I only want to sleep 4 hours, and some days it’s 12. There are days I fall asleep at 6pm and days I’m still anxious and going at midnight.

However, today I started thinking of all the things I have to do… I have items that desperately need sold, thrown out, donated, etc… from before I left and while I was gone. I have taxes to do. I have random missing things I really need to eventually find. I have a budget to figure out and organizations I need to get back on top of such as IxDA at multiple levels, Smunch, and Phoenix Actually. I have 30 before 30 goals I am a few months behind on.

I’ve done some good things such as the weight I’ve lost while I was gone.. but because of it I have tons of clothes that don’t fit I need to do something with and I need to find some clothes I can wear in the mean time until I reach my goal and can go crazy on clothes.. and even that that’s going to be expensive.

I also was able to pay off all my unsecured debt (credit cards, medical bills, etc) from those bad times in  my life when I was in between school and jobs and dealing with a crappy economy. This is good, but there are also things I want such as saving for a house, taking some dance classes, and all that. So, I really have to learn to budget without letting these pile up ever again. Part of this is learning to ride my new bike when I get it more, so that I am saving on gas and exercising at the same time.

I know I will get there eventually, but my overachiever self expects me to bounce back right away… or at the very latest by August when I have visitors for vacation. Hopefully this feeling will pass. For now, I’m going to forget about it and go to the gym.

I really have to tell you about my pants.

Hmm. That probably sounds bad. Maybe I should explain. This all has to do with #SexyBitchOps.

When I came out here I fully intended on starting #SexyBitchOps. When I was shopping for clothes beforehand, I walked into American Eagle and saw these cute olive green cargos I had to have. They didn’t quite fit, but I bought them anyway and packed them in my stuff to arrive later. I pretty much made them my goal.

Over a month later, I was finally able to fit in them. They were very form fitting and looked great. My legs looked skinny and I looked good in them. I was so excited and I pictured how great they would look with stuff I have back home. I was imagining them with a tall pair of gorgeous brown boots I have, and all my tops that would be exquisite with them.

Today when I put them on, they were loose at the waist. Yep. I have a feeling I’m still dropping while I’m here. In fact, not only were they loose at the waist but I have a feeling they aren’t as form fitting in the back anymore either. They’re feeling a little baggy.

Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s pretty awesome that I’m still continuing towards my goal.. or at least it appears that way. However, I am sad that these pants may not fit me for too much longer.. or at least not the way they should.

I may need a tailor and/or a shopping spree upon my return.

Still dreaming of the pants with the cute high boots though…

It’s been awhile since I”ve updated on #SexyBitchOps but I’m pleased to say that I’ve been pretty much at it in full swing. I’m going to the gym nearly every day and doing cardio and then rotating between arm weights, leg weights, and abs. I’ve started using the elliptical to switch things up a bit rather than the treadmill and have been doing 5ks.

On the days that I do not head to the gym I am usually walking at least a few miles outside.. sometimes it’s 3 hours of walking, which is well worth skipping the gym for in my opinion. It’s been just gorgeous out lately and the walk and some music is a nice break at the end of the work day.

I’ve noticed the biggest difference from the arm weights; my upper body is really beginning to tone and look fantastic. However, the abs leave something to be desired still. We’re getting there, but we haven’t hit a happy spot yet. They always seem to be the hardest to work on.

One thing I cannot seem to find here though is a scale. You’d think this would be the place to find one, but, I am pretty sure elves have stolen them and they will never return. Makes it hard to really gauge how I am doing in anything other than how I am feeling and that my pants are still falling down.

With a few months left here, I am hoping to really focus on the abs. Hopefully I am doing as good as I think I am too. How is everyone else’s crazy workouts going? You can do it. Join #SexyBitchOps. I wanna see nice swimsuits and sundresses come summer

So, it’s been a little over two weeks since I posted about starting Operation Sexy Bitch in my quest to well… I guess that’s a little obvious. It falls well in sync with my 30 before 30 that I started the beginning of August, a few weeks before my 29th birthday. The goal is to get as close to being in as good of shape as I was when I was in undergraduate school. This doesn’t necessarily mean dropping weight, but this will more than likely be a natural (and welcome) side affect of becoming more active and  making myself pay better attention to my endurance and activity level.

I’m excited to share that I’m really starting to notice that my endurance is much better than it used to be, and that I’m starting to really learn how to use weights properly to help tone and strengthen my body as well. I’ve been doing a little crossfit and mainly cardio while I’ve been here up until a few days ago. I’ve recently started a workout regimen with a couple other women here that is similar to crossfit but slightly different.

This in combination with walking a lot of places here and finding a good balance with my diet has put me in a good place. I’m not starving myself, nor denying myself things I occasionally crave, such as the goodies everyone is sending me or the occasional need for mountain dew to help me through working a late night. This gives me hope that in the end, when I’m back in my “typical” routine, that I will be able to maintain this. So long as I stay within a long driving distance of Sweet Republic that is. In addition, I plan on spending a little bit on a bike when I get back, determined to use it for my smaller errands not so far from the home. If you know of an awesome hot pink bike (with a basket) to ride around town in… let me know

I know the picture is blurry, but I thought I’d add an update showing where I’m at as of now. Next time I’ll show myself bench pressing a million and one pounds Also, now that I see it, I am pretty happy with my progress.

Hopefully any of you that are working on Operation Sexy Bitch at home are doing as well. Let me know about your progress!!

So I have two side projects while I’m here. These are things that will help me pass the time (well, when I have time to spare) and also help me out in the long run.

One of them is learning a new language, to which I’ve slowly (and yes, I admit I’ve been procrastinating a bit) been learning Dari/Farsi. I have a phrase book I’ve started to read and in learning and picking up things here I’ve been able to to learn the basic phrase, “My name is Tonia.” Learning a new language is not in my 30 before 30, but I figure hey, if I replace one because there was something I couldn’t do here, it’s still a good skill to have in my basket and a great thing to add to my list.

The next one is part of my 30 before 30 in regards to getting in as good of shape as I was in college. I’ve started this crusade since I’ve been here slowly, and today decided to name it Operation Sexy Bitch (#SexyBitchOps).

This has included going to the gym at least 5 days a week for 45 minutes of exercise every time, doing the ab workout with my tent-mates 3 days a week, and trying to watch what I eat as much as I can here, although there isn’t much to cut back on and there aren’t many choices.

As of a couple weeks ago, I cut back almost completely on anything other than water. Occasionally I’ll add crystal light to it and one day last week I craved a strawberry fanta. I also have ice cream on a rare occasion. However, for the most part, I am trying to eat better as well as possible.

I’ve felt a little defeated up until this past week and actually felt like I was gaining weight. However, the past week or so it’s been noticed by others that are around me a lot that I’m looking pretty good and that my figure is showing more.  I haven’t weighed myself yet, but I’m pretty happy with the new found energy I have again and that people are noticing.

The big highlight was being able to run a mile out of the two I did on the treadmill today. I couldn’t tell you the last time I was able to do that.  It felt so nice and after I was done and cooled off I had an insane amount of energy again, as if I could do it twice.

Hopefully things will continue as well as they are doing now and maybe in a few weeks or so I’ll have a picture with an update when I take one I like. Who knows, maybe @TheWinterHat will be in it too

Anyone else that wants to take part in #SexyBitchOps, let me know. This is a team effort!

One of my goals for this weekend was to do some much needed shopping for an upcoming trip. I needed to stock up on gym clothes, pajamas, and clothes I don’t wear too much such as khakis and shirts with collars. Not only did I find great deals, but I was surprised to find that I was buying smaller clothing. My shirt size is down a size and my pants size is down 1.5 (almost 2) sizes. I haven’t dropped too much since the #fatoff started, but I had been on an exercise regimen before that so in the past three months total, I’m down about 20.

I’m happy because my hard work is paying off and in the long run I know I will be healthier. As I’ve stated before I’m able to run longer distances again and able to keep up longer than I thought I would be able to. My heart doesn’t sky rocket when I exercise either.

When I came home, I ran across this video a friend had shared on Facebook:

I decided to share it out myself as well and received a couple thank yous for spreading it on.

I’ve spent the past hour thinking about it a lot though. Most women, girls, teenagers, people in general, aren’t aware of how much models and celebrities are airbrushed and warped in printed advertisements and media. Hell, even in films and commercials. When people wake up in the morning, when they don’t put on makeup, when they don’t spent 3 hours having hair extensions put in, they look just like everyone else does. Then the more I thought about it, I realized that most of us probably look better because we try to achieve that image, that look of perfection.

It was then that I became truly happy. I realized I’m beautiful, even without the small amount of makeup I put on everyday, without my jewelry and accessories, and without dressing to the 9’s. I’m beautiful in my pajamas. I’m beautiful in my gym clothes and I’m beautiful when I’m having a bad hair day.  I’m beautiful when I’m laughing, when I’m dancing, when I’m crying, and when I’m doing nothing at all. I’m beautiful without going unsafe distances to turn myself into (as Bridget Jones would say) an “American stick insect.”

You are also beautiful. You are beautiful for what you have accomplished in life. You are beautiful for your talents. You are beautiful because you smile every day. You are beautiful because you are being you.

Stop trying to achieve goals of perfection that no one else can even realistically achieve. Start being you. Then you will truly become beautiful.

A big thank you to Dove for this commercial.

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out what works as far as helping me lose weight and what doesn’t food wise, amount wise, and timing wise. I’ve been doing fairly well, considering all the road blocks that have been thrown in my way during this process. Seems that nothing ever comes easily for me. I always have to work for what I want.

My progress has been slow. It was suggested that I switch my carbs from fruits and veggies to just veggies. I can typically do this for my main meals. I absolutely love steamed vegetables. However, when I’m at work or out and about and need those snacks I can eat on the go, I can’t have steamed veggies. I’ve been trying to eat raw broccoli, peppers, and other things for a week or so now and I just can’t do it. I love vegetables, but the only ones I like raw are pickles and carrots. Broccoli is one of my favorites but I cannot eat it raw. It tastes like paper to me.

I have to have my fruit. Then I realized I was starting to fall into that trap I don’t want to fall into and told myself I never would. There definitely is something to be said for eating healthy and being conscious of what you are having. However, I’ve never been one of those diet people as far as saying I will never have a piece of bread or a cup of ice cream again. I can’t do it. Every once in awhile I want it. Every once in awhile I think it’s okay. I think it should be okay to go out to an amazing dinner and just consciously watch the portions and types of food you are having. And related to that, I have to have my fruit. I love grapes and pineapple and grapefruit and cherries and nectarines. I am just going to have to try something that works taking those into consideration or deal with the fact that it will happen more slowly. I’ve learned to be okay with that.

I discovered something purely on horrible happenstance over the past few weeks that has really been bothering me the last couple days.

I spent the past two weeks out of the area on a business trip. I figured it would be easy for me to do some travel workout routines and head to the grocery store to keep my great nutrition plan up to par. However, when I realized the drive I would have to and from the hotel every day piled on with the hours I was working, it quickly became apparent that I could probably keep up some of the nutrition part, but not nearly all and when I have a choice of 4.5 hours of sleep or 3 and a workout, the 4.5 hours of sleep seemed the most vital as a workout would probably keep me up and then result in an hour of sleep.

I was so paranoid that I would come back weighing a billion more pounds since I was so far off of what I had been doing the past month. Much to my surprise though, I came back 2 pounds lighter????

Really?

I lost just about the same I had lost the previous two weeks by doing almost nothing?

Something doesn’t seem right here. Not at all.

I have no clue what this means for me, my body, or any of that, but I’d be damn curious to know. Just seems so odd to me that I lose the same without putting in any effort whatsoever.

Someone help me make sense of this.

Photo by Patricia Tompkins

Look at how excited (and red) Patricia and I were after we finished the Filthy Fifties workout at Competitive Fitness on Saturday. I can’t believe we finished that monster. Almost feels a little bad ass!

Honestly though, I think I have an idea of where it came from but am surprised at how fast I am gaining so much extra energy. I’ve been working out at Competitive Fitness for only a week now (total of 1 initial assessment and 5 workouts of the day) and been on a nutrition plan for 4. I’m already starting to notice differences in my health and well being.

What I noticed first was my energy beginning to increase. Warming up on the treadmill before workouts, I’ve had to kick up my speed a few knotches. What I was using to warmup before is just not cutting it anymore and I quickly became bored at the slow pace I used to use. I also have found myself ready to do a second workout after completing the treaturous ones we have daily at the gym. It’s not to say I don’t push myself, I do. At the end of them, I typically want to fall over and crash. After a half hour or so though, I start to feel my energy level kick back up to where it was prior to the workout. One of the other contestants started their workout yesterday shortly after I finished. As they got to the end, I did the last 100 jump ropes with them to push them on. Looking back on it, I can’t beleive I managed that. However, it makes me excited to know that I not only have that energy, but I was able to help encourage someone else. Now I just need to find time in my schedule to have morning or night jog on top of my daily routine.

I’m also noticing that while I’m still sore occasionally after workouts, it’s nothing my body isn’t able to handle. Yesterday evening I ended up having some back pain that continued into this morning. With advice in regards to stretches and exercises to do in order to releive the soreness and pain and to help prepare me for my return to the gym Monday, I am really starting to feel a lot better.

I really hope I can continue this regimen even after the competition is over.

I’ve always prided myself on my interesting serendipitous cooking techniques. Baking is my specialty. I can bake insanely complicated recipes and put my own flair on the simplest of creations. However, I’ve never been much of a cook. I like to call my cooking techniques serendipitous, meaning that I just take random ingredients from my pantry and refrigerator and put them in a pot and hope for magic.

Being in the #fatoff has given me a new approach to my serendipitous cooking. I’ve found I’m a pretty good chef even when I am taking careful consideration of what I am putting into my body. When I first started watching my nutrition I was doing just the basics and every meal I had was the same. I have a feeling that most of my lunches might be that way as some of my nightly dinners during the week. However, this weekend I started getting creative. I bought some delicious scallops and pan grilled them with some broccoli and pineapple for dinner on Friday. Yesterday I had a delicious breakfast of brie covered mushrooms and egg whites along with grapes.  Today, I made myself some sauteed peppers, onions, mushrooms, and zucchini mixed in with some beef and tossed in tomato sauce. Trust me, the picture does not do it justice. It’s delicious.

I’m excited to see what else I can come up with on my own and from the inspiration of others. I’m also looking forward to the day I can have tea again… and Sweet Republic However, for now, I am truly enjoying how good food can really be, even when I’m the one making it.